End Zone World: High School Mascots

High schools are generally clueless about choosing mascots. They could choose based on a sense of fun and whimsy; or a historical aspect of a geographic area; or a school + mascot wordplay which is fun to say aloud. Instead, high schools often cede mascot choices to the students.

In theory, this is egalitarian. In reality, this often devolves into the dominant group of girls organizing, cajoling, and bullying fellow students into voting for whatever mascot the dominant group of girls considers the "cutest." One should avoid letting teenaged girls control a process. Case in point: Grandview(Texas) High School, i.e.

the Grandview Zebras

Grandview is located on a hot and grassy prairie - but that's where the logic of this mascot choice ends. A zebra is a prey animal. When you think of a zebra, it is going down and dying in a panic, i.e. a Lion or a Cheetah is taking it down with a chomp on the neck; a group of alligators is ripping a zebra apart - same with a pack of hyena. Who wants to be a zebra?! Other possibilities for Grandview:

• Gators
• Gamebirds
• Gorillas
• Guatemalans

and my favorites:

• Grandview Grasshoppers
• Grandview Gravity
• Grandview Gravy - I once made up some cheerleader cheers* for the Grandview Gravy, whose mascot would be named "Lumpy."

The real purpose of this post is to consider the Tuttle (Oklahoma) Tigers, as I encountered a Tuttle Tiger at Cabella's last week. Nice nickname. Not overly cute. Fierce. Alliterative. But not good enough, reason being that "Tuttle" is such a spectacular name - a gift from the Mascot Gods.

"To whom much is given, much is expected." - Book of Matthew

When you're working with fabulous material, like "Tuttle," you don't want to mold a simple ashtray. Its a waste, and a kind of affront. Consider the memorable possibilities:

• Tuttle Turtles
• Tuttle Toddles - these would be weeblo-like mascots: "they wobble but they don't fall down." Students would don colored sumo suits on the sidelines. I think these would be undefeated mascots. No rival student, in a lion or tiger costume, could defeat a Tuttle Toddle in sideline combat. The gymnasium would be "The Toddle House."
• Tuttle Tittles - these would be laughing creatures with expressive faces
• Tuttle Tattles - good cheer-taunt possibilities: "Don't do wrong..." School Newspaper: "The Tattler."
• Tuttle Puddles**
• Tuttle Muddles - "Muddle through, boys!"
• Tuttle Bubbles - children's bubble-blowers in the stands!

Even if you're allergic to whimsy, the point is:

How could you pass on Tuttle Turtles!?

Its natural, its memorable, and its catchy. Turtles would've been embraced by the entire town of Tuttle. You'd have turtle statues all over Tuttle; turtle figurines; climbable turtles in playgrounds; shoe-polish turtles in store windows. Tuttle would've reacted similar to Hutto, Texas, where beloved, smiling Hutto Hippos have come to represent the entire town.

In End Zone World(EZ World), it would be Tuttle Turtles.

Update:

I've also got a beef with the Buda (Texas) Eagles, who obviously should be:

the Buda Bellies

Another example of school officials shunning creative genius in favor of mundane mediocrity. Such a pity.

`

*Three cheerleader cheers for the Grandview Gravy:

1) Meat gravy
Cream gravy
Natural gravy too,
We're gonna ladle gravy
All over you.

2) You guys are so wimpy
You're gonna get a loss,
You guys are so wimpy
You must be a sauce.

3) Grease em
Overseason
Give them gas,
Cream em
Soak em
Saturate their...quarterback.

One cheerleader cheer for the Grandview Gravity:

Think you're high and mighty?
Think you're pretty tall?
Here comes Gravity,
You're gonna take a fall.

Note: As mascots go, the Robinson (Texas) Rockets are well designed to defeat the Grandview Gravity. And vice verse, actually. Outstanding mascot matchup, if only.

**One cheerleader cheer for the Tuttle Puddles(this cheer recommended for girls' sporting events):

Manolo Blahnick, Jimmy Choo,
Espedrilles, spike heels, sandals too,
Luscious suede beauties you wear to a fete,
You can’t avoid the Puddles so they’re gonna get wet!

Humor Break: Ode to IMAO

I wish I knew what IMAO meant. Maybe it means "It's Frank J's world":

Affirmative Action
Whose dumb idea was this? The solution to racism is to ingrain racism into our laws and hiring practices? Some may say you should fight fire with fire, but, if my house were ablaze and the firemen showed up with flamethrowers, I'd be like, "Hey! Don't fight fire with fire!" That why I'm 'gainst affirmative action.

Israeli-Palestinian Conflict
To start off, I don’t know much about the Middle East. I don’t know who is an arab and who is technically not an arab, how much killing the Koran actually condones, or even what continent the Middle East is on. I mean, it’s wedged right in there between Europe, Africa, and Asia, so which one is it? What I do know is that it’s really hard to sympathize with the Palestinians. Maybe if once I read off the AP “Today, a group of Palestinian thugs grabbed a man they thought to be plotting a suicide bombing of an Israeli daycare and beat him severely for eight hours straight. France has already denounced it as one of the worst acts of violence they have ever witnessed.” then I’d be like, “Hey, those Palestinians are pretty cool. Maybe the Israelis should be nicer to them.” Instead I’m always hearing things like “A bomb has gone off in a crowded marketplace in Israel. Reports are still sketchy on the dead and injured, but we already have video of the Palestinians celebrating by jumping up and down and screeching like deranged howler monkeys.” and I’m like, “I hate the Palestinians. Why haven’t the Israelis killed them all yet? Don’t they have some sort of Zionist conspiracy to deal with these ‘people?’”

Random Ninja Attacks
Nothing ruins a quiet stroll through the countryside quite like being jumped by a group of ninjas. It’s a common complaint, and the problem is only getting worse. Yet, the solutions offered are just more of the same. Build taller fences they say, but we all know how adept ninjas are at climbing. They propose putting more townspeople on ninja watch, but the whole point of a ninja is to sneak by unseen. Sometimes hiring wandering ronin to attack the ninjas’ headquarters has worked as a temporary solution, but the ninjas always regroup and the ronin are expensive and not always trustworthy. Frankly, how good could a samurai be if his master is dead? I say the only real solution is to make the death touch available to the people. When the common man is able to cause someone’s heart to explode by striking certain pressure points, then they will be able to defend themselves from vicious ninjas. There are many who oppose this, but, when the death touch is outlawed, only outlaws will use the death touch. And that leaves no one safe.

Big Government
Government is evil. It’s a necessary evil, but it’s still evil. Its job is to be big and powerful and push people around. It’s sorry thing we need it, but, hey, them’s the breaks. So, the idea is to be as careful as possible when applying it. You should be as hesitant to use the government to achieve something as you would be burning down an orphanage to achieve something. But people don’t get it, always whining to government to fix every problem instead of getting off their own duffs even though government can often make things worse. Look at this way, the government is like Godzilla: it’s most adept as smashing and breaking things, but if it tries to help an individual person, it’s more likely to crush him accidentally than anything else. So that’s why I’m ‘gainst big government.

Slave Reparations
Slavery in America was a horrible crime against humanity, and the governments support of it is more than inexcusable. I say, rather than that forty acres and a mule crap, give every surviving former slave $10 million dollars so he or she can get a condo and a porsche. And, since slavery was such a horrible thing, I think there should also be some reparations for the children of slaves who were never slaves themselves. They should all get free residence in a nursing home, if any are still alive. As for all other descendants, they can get an "I sought reparations for slavery and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" t-shirt for the apologetic price of just $12.00. Act now, because these reparations won't last forever!

I’m just kidding ya. I’m ‘gainst reparations. T-shirts are full price.

Hank's Homeys Rock

Hank's Homeys is my first fantasy baseball team ever, and its surely the best fantasy baseball team I'll ever have. I could play for 30 more years and never have another team this good, so I'm careful to fully enjoy the fabulosity of this team.

We are in first place in Annika's Fantasy Baseball League. We've been in either first or second place for maybe six weeks. We acquired seven excellent players in the draft; one player through trade; and everyone else via waivers. Its amazing who you can acquire off the waiver list. We've had the last waiver drafting postition for most of the year, yet we've still been able to acquire fabulous players. We've had good luck acquiring pitchers while they were temporarily on the DL. Here's our roster, with notations about how everyone was acquired.

Position Players:

• C: Brandon Inge- Waivers- Catcher is a weak position league-wide. In an upset, Inge has been the top ranked fantasy catcher so far this season.
• 1B: Mark Texiera- Draft(3rd round)
• 2B: Bip Roberts- Waivers- A lucky pick. Was looking for stolen bases, and stumbled across a fantasy baseball god.
• 3B: Casey Blake- Waivers- This has been the worst production of any position. We have been through a dozen different 3Bman so far. I wish I had grabbed Morgan Ensberg off waivers.
• SS: Michael Young- Draft(4th round)
• OF: Vladimir Guerrerro- Draft(1st round)
• OF: Manny Ramirez- Draft(2nd round)
• OF: Ken Griffey, Jr.- Draft(10th round) This was an excellent draft pick. The last few years, Griffey has continued to hit when healthy. I figured it was time for him to have a big year.
• Utility: Andruw Jones- Waivers(Drafted in 9th round, then traded for Dunn, then reacquired via waivers) This guy is white hot! Ride that streak!
• Bench: Adam Dunn- Trade(for Andruw Jones) I love this player. He has a .245 BA, but is productive in every other offensive category. He even steals bases!
• Bench: Hideki Matsui- Waivers- Continues to improve his already impressive game. Enjoys the huge advantage of being nestled amongst big hitters in the Yankee lineup: He sees good pitches every at bat.
• Bench: Felipe Lopez- Waivers- SS for Cincinnatti continues to put up excellent numbers, which are comparable to Michael Young's numbers so far this season. Lopez plays these fantasy positions: 2B/SS/3B.

Pitchers:

• SP- Dontrelle Willis- Draft(7th round) Another excellent pick: I had a hunch about Dontrelle. Also, he's a sentimental pick: I just love him as a player. I wish the Marlins would let him play OF when he's not pitching.
• SP- Jon Garland- Waivers
• SP- Mark Prior- Waivers (while on DL)
• SP- Eric Bedard- Waivers- I hope Bedard, when he gets off the DL, will continue his excellent development.
• SP- Kenny Rogers- Waivers- Ride'em while they're hot!
• SP- Brad Penny- Waivers (while on DL) I've been super-patient with Penny, and he's repaid me with mediocre play. When Bedard comes off the DL, Penny may have to go.
• RP- Francisco Rodriguez- Draft(7th round) I saw him the last two seasons against the Rangers, and knew he would be big as a closer.
• RP- Jason Isringhausen- Waivers (while on DL) God Bless the DL!
• RP- Doug Jones- Waivers- Here's where its good to be an old fart who can remember when Doug Jones was good, and can speculate that he might have a good season closing for a strong Marlins team.

My favorite part of the season was April and May, when we had Dontrelle Willis and a cast of thousands running through a starting pitcher tryout camp. I kept only 9 position players- every one of them had to start every day. I kept 8 SPs rotating through 3 SP slots. We went through SPs faster than Jimmy Johnson went through waiver players in 1989: Here on Tuesday, cut on Thursday. Here on Thursday, cut on Monday. If you were a starter facing the Astros, Royals, Pirates, Brewers, or the Rockies on the road, chances are you were with Hank's Homeys for at least one start. We did come up with Jon Garland and Eric Bedard in this fashion- and maybe Kenny Rogers too. Its better to be lucky than good.

And if you're scuffling, its better to give luck a chance to happen by practicing nonattachment to players, otherwise C.C. Sabathia, Andy Petitte, Bruce Chen, Brad Backe, Jerome Williams, Kevin Brown, Brad Radke, Jamie Moyer, Gil Meche, Oliver Perez, Horatio Ramirez, Mike Hampton, Brad Lawrence, Bobby Madritsche, Joel Pinero, Victor Zambrano, and Derek Lowe might still be hanging around, pitching on a last place team.

My one big mistake was cutting Matt Morris. He won 5 games in a row for us, then I cut him as he faced the Yankees and Red Sox in three consecutive starts. To my surprise, he mowed down the Yankees and the Red Sox, THEN he blew up like a suicide bomber against the Pirates! That's right- the Pirates: Swashbuckling Sultans of Swat, featuring a murderer's row of Lawton, Redmon, Bay, Mackowiak, Ward, Cota, Castillo, and Wilson, knocked Morris out in the 3rd inning of an 11-7 victory. Sometimes theres no figuring this game. Its better to be lucky, and Hank's Homeys have had plenty of that. Hopefully, its the residue of good karma from associating with the classy Mr. Blalock, and his classy fan club: Hank's Homies.

Corpus Christi

In Corpus Christi to help Secure Horizons Health Insurance open up in this market. I really like this area, which is called "Texas Coastal Bend." I've visited most areas of Texas, but must admit I've never been down here. Had no idea it was so charming - in a rugged, plain kind of way. The beaches are wonderfully sandy - perfect for walking barefoot. They are without the sea shells which cut your feet on many beaches.

There is seaweed, my friend. Huge horizontal swaths of it, stretching for miles along the tide line. I met a Texas A&M Coed/Marine Biology major. She's working as a Padre Island Park Ranger for the summer, and she was out walking for exercise at the end of her shift. We walked together for a mile or so. She said this particular seaweed grows on top of the Atlantic Ocean, between South America and Africa, then washes onto the Texas beaches this time of year. She said it gets stinky as it rots on the beach. But there's always been stiff breezes blowing, and I haven't noticed any unpleasant odors.

Met and strolled with an Army specialist on leave from Iraq. He was at the beach with his 3 month old(!) niece, and his fiance. He said the Army's techonologic weaponry and scouting capabilities are unbelievable. The Army uses only a fraction of their technology in Iraq.

On most of these beaches you can drive your vehicle right onto the sand beside the Gulf waters, then set up a tent for overnight; or sleep in your Winnebago, or trailer, or van(1, 2). I've seen many families, married couples, and lovers doing all these things. These are state parks, and their entry cost is either nonexistent, or nominal. It makes me happy that Texas has beach parks which are so nice. These parks serve a refreshing milieu of Texans and visitors: well-off, not so well-off; black, white, brown; children, adults, seniors, dogs: everywhere.

I mostly work from about 9 AM to about 7:30 PM, then I rush down to Mustang Island to walk in the lapping waves, and watch the sun set over the sand dunes. Four different nights I've sat out on the beach until I could study the stars a bit, then made the 25 minute drive back to my hotel, arriving about 10:15 PM. Its a nice life, especially for someone like me, who's barely ever lived near the ocean.

Walking in the waves and watching the stars like that, one has a strong desire for a beer, a girl, and a tent. Then another beer. Actually, then another girl, also. But now we're getting sidetracked into fantasy. It wouldn't be that hard to arrange for two beers, two girls, and a tent on the beach. But, in real life, this scene would usually be more trouble than it was worth. The girls might want some of my beer, or some other silly thing.

Went to Port Aransas on Sunday. Walked their classic wooden pier. It juts 1/4 mile or so into the Gulf. People fishing everywhere. I like to chit-chat with the children. They are very excited to be fishing. They approach their task with seriousness of purpose.

Walked the mile long dirt and rock South Jetty, which was built to cut down the ocean waves molesting the Corpus Christi ship channel. The jetty is basically a dirt road jutting straight out into the Gulf. They floated huge square-cut rock chunks out to frame both sides of the dirt road, to prevent erosion. Pretty cool. The rock chunks were about 10'x5'x5'. People fishing everywhere on this dirt and rock pier, also. Serious, focused children.

After, rode the ferry across the Corpus Christi Ship Channel, drove to Port Aransas Pass, then Gregory, then Portland, then back into Corpus across the Corpus Christi Harbor Bridge - which is nicely tall.

I'd be remiss not to mention Corpus Christi is the home of Selena, and Janis Joplin. I saw Janis and Stevie Ray Vaughan on a huge mural near downtown.

Its easy to see why Selena was a real life Elvis. This town is heavily Mexican-American, and heavily working class. Selena was Corpus Christi's girl. She raised herself up from nothing, right off the bottom of a working class town. They loved her for that more than anything. They loved her for that more than they loved her music. She embodied their dreams. She meant their dreams really could come true: Mexican girls could become famous and rich; and be respected and admired by Anglos.

A lot of working class Mexican-Americans have little practical conception of what a Mexican girl's life is like as an outstanding Lawyer or Engineer. But they understand and grasp an outstanding entertainer. That is very real to them. Very right in front of their eyes.

And a Mexican-American entertainer brings credit and honor to all Mexican-Americans. Rooting for her was like rooting for your own team.

Selena's eyes, and her face, always reflected sensibility and graciousness(1, 2). I had a gut instinct that she was a very decent girl. Makes her untimely death all the more tragic.

The nice hotel staff is taking good care of me, and I'll be back in Ft. Worth on Sunday.

Next Post: Whataburger (Baseball) Field.

Globetrotting Famous Cousin Jeff Weighs In On ANWR, Misleading Media, and Psycho Ecos

Greg,
This guy is exactly right. The ANWR debate has been about deception for the last 20 years. The Sierra Club, CNN and all of the left leaning media can get away with this deception because so few people have actually ever been to ANWR. (I have been to ANWR.) Musk Ox are not very common in the area being considered for drilling, but even if they were, why would they give a shit? They are big giant beasts who’s only enemies are mosquitoes and maybe native Inuit hunters. The same with the caribou, who are common in the proposed drilling area. There is 30 years of experience with oil production operations on the Alaskan north slope and the caribou are not the least bit bothered. Yet the environmental lobby constantly claims drilling in ANWR will destroy the caribou. It’s ludicrous.

In this case CNN is really a pawn to the extreme environmentalist. If you really understand the issues, the only way to be truly opposed to drilling in ANWR is if you are simply anti-development of any kind. There are people in the Sierra Club that think they are anti-development of any kind, but the percentage of people that fall in to this category is miniscule. They have to use mis-information to try to somehow make the issue relevant to others. They also like to say that the native people are opposed to ANWR development. This is only true of the villagers that live in the Brooks Range who are miles away from the potential development and won’t get any direct financial benefit.

In 1988 when I was coming back from ANWR, NBC News was doing a piece on the issue. They went to film a previous Chevron drill site. However, because the drill site had been remediate so well they couldn’t find it. So instead they filmed the local Inuit village’s gravel pit and claimed it was Chevron’s drill site. Chevron asked them to do a correction the next day. NBC said they didn’t do it on purpose (and therefore are not libel) and they don’t do corrections. That was the end of it.

None of this BS would matter if we actually had a functioning government in Washington that could take on and resolve any issue of significance. I think we should drill in ANWR for many reasons, but at this point, the main one is simply so we could get it over with and move on to the many more important issues that we should be debating.

Congrats to the Lady Bears. (Big 12 Conference Tournament Basketball Champs! Second Seed in their Region in the NCAA Tournament!)

Update:
Jeff gets results - from Powerline:

The Senate has voted to open the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil exploration. The portion that will be open to drilling (assuming the Senate approves its budget and the House goes along) is a largely barren coastal section about the size of a regional airport in a refuge the size of the state of South Carolina. Drilling will occur only in the winter, when the place is frozen solid, using sophisticated technology that will scarcely leave a footprint come spring, when the single caribou herd that grazes in the refuge comes calling.

The vote was 51-49.

Posted by deacon at 02:56 PM

Grief

Prologue

Was reading blogs at my brother's house in Denham Springs, LA, using Lisa's laptop and a mini-mouse-- instead of her headband laser beam mouse. Bruce and Lisa have WiFi, which allows one to wander from kitchen to living room to bedroom, dropping in on various conversations and various activities going on throughout the house. WiFi is really the only way to go.

Alice(Bacchini) in Texas directed me to Seraphic Secret, which is written by Robert Averich, with contributory comments from his wife, Karen. Robert and Karen lost their beautiful college age son to a long term disease. I was touched by their story, their courage, their love for their family, their tenderness, their wisdom, and their ongoing grief. Reading Seraphic Secret, I was overcome by grief. I felt a tangible, physical urge to flee their blog, but remained riveted through a decent bit of their archives. God bless them.

Alice made a comment which stuck with me:
"...grieving, which may be tabboo but is actually part of life, all round the year."


Grief

Travelling to Texas, we jumped off HWY 190 and onto Interstate 49, which is a pine tree lined straight shot across the upper of Louisiana's boot, angling from southeast to northwest. Beside me in the front seat, Jake assumed the "teenager position", which is slumped down with earphones on and eyes closed, only stirring every 40 minutes to change the CD. Nancy and Vachel assumed the "AARP position", which is eyes closed and asleep in the back of the Yukon. I had lots of miles to drive quietly, and lots of time to let my mind drift. I thought of Alice Bacchini.

Alice will soon load her ark with children and move back to Britain. She will no longer be "Alice in Texas"(in Austin). She will end that blog, and return to blogging at some unspecified time, in some unspecified form. I will miss her. Alice has had lots of wise and interesting and fun things to say. I've enjoyed reading her British girl's perspective on things American.

So, I think about Alice as I drive, and I know what's likely to happen: Alice will get caught up in a whirlwind of packing and moving and trans-Atlantic arking, and there will be nothing on her blog for a long time, and then there will be a note that she's in Britain, goodbye, and she'll be back someday-- who knows when, in a different blog format. And I start to feel sad. And I start to pre-grieve over the demise of Alice in Texas as I drive through Alexandria, Louisiana. My grief is a thimble-full compared to the ocean of grief at Seraphic Secret. My grief is a pinprick compared to that. But it exists. Grief is grief. A pinprick hurts. I think I should not ignore and push away my grief and pain any longer, as I have for the first four decades of my life.

I hatch a plan: I'm going to do that dating/relationship thing, where you avoid pain and grief by breaking up with the other person at the first sign of trouble, before they have a chance to break up with you. I'm going to not look at the Alice in Texas blog until the summer, after I can be confident the blog has ended. Then I'll go back and see what I missed, and I'll minimize my own pain and grieving in that fashion. This comforts me for some miles.

But, wait, a disturbing thought: This is no way to live one's life-- by avoiding fully living in the present, so as to avoid some pain occurring in the future. My parents are both asleep in the seats behind me. They will likely die before I do. Would I avoid being with them because I know I shall grieve at their deaths on some future day? Will I avoid feeling maximum love for Jake because he might die in an auto accident and break my heart, ala Seraphic Secret? A creeping and terrible realization begins to emerge: How much of life have I missed while I hid from some future grief which might or might not occur?

I'm writing bits of a book about coaching youth sports. Youth sport should be an end in itself, insofar as playing and competing and being excellent at sport is fun; and it should be a means to an end, insofar as sport builds character. One thing I discovered, which I had not quite fully understood before-- and, I'm sorry-- I cannot remember who wrote this:

Losing creates grief-- even in sport.

*

It may be a pinprick of grief, like my grief over Alice leaving her blog, but it is grief nonetheless. Even a miniature happening inside a larger sports game is an opportunity to feel grief: if you kick a ball and miss the goal; if your opponent defeats you in an individual matchup; if you let your teammates down in some way; or feel embarrassed before the crowd of onlookers. All of these are opportunities to feel pain and to grieve. The pain and grief may be tiny, but it will still hurt. How many children refuse to play games because of the pain and grief which may result? In my own life, have I refused to play in some areas, in a misguided attempt to avoid pain and grief? I have. Dammit.

*

I know this next happened in the spring before I turned either five or six, because I remember the weather, and I remember we lived in Waco:

*

It was a bright and sunshiny spring day. I was playing in the back yard, and came running through the sliding patio door and into the kitchen. I slowed to listen to my parents, who were off to my left, sitting at the kitchen table. They were sad and concerned. They were discussing a relative who had died. I stood in the middle of the kitchen and stared at them as I listened.

*

"Why did he die?" I asked.

"He was old. Everyone dies, eventually."

"Why?"

"They just do."

"Why do they have to die!? Everyone doesn't have to die!"

"Yes. Everyone dies. Run along. Go back out in the yard."

My parents were sad and distracted.

*

I went back to the yard, and I was overcome with grief and sadness. I had thought people died only by accident. If no accident happened, I assumed people could live forever. This was a terrible twist. I began to cry, and my crying intensified to sobs. I went back in the kitchen and spoke to my parents in sobbing, crying gasps:

*

"Not everybody dies! You don't have to die, and Daddy doesn't have to die, and Bruce, and Bradley, and me! We don't have to die!"

*

"Yes, everybody dies. That's the way life works. Now, straighten yourself up. Get back outside until you can stop crying."

*

I've never gotten over it.

*

I realized, as I drove towards Natchitoches, Louisiana, that what I felt in the back yard in Waco was grief. It was grief over the fact that people I loved would die, and this life on Earth that I loved would end.

*

And I still feel that grief, to this very day. It kills me that my son will one day die. It kills me that my beloved brothers will one day die. It kills me that my own life will one day end. I love so many things in this life. I love to read, and to watch movies, and to play many sports like football and basketball and softball and golf, and to play many games like chess and dominoes and cards and Yahtzee and Stratego and Risk, and I love good conversation, and food and drink, and the beach, and the Rocky Mountains in summer, and the Rocky Mountains in winter. I love rainy days and sweaty days, and I love to drive long distances, and I love to fly to new places, and I love sunsets and sunrises, and I love the feeling of a fish on the end of my line, and I used to hunt dove and quail-- and I loved watching the hunting dogs work! And I loved killing and eating those birds! I love many things, much.

*

And I'm mad at God! I'm mad at any God who would take those things away from me, and would take those things away from those I love. I am MAD MAD MAD. It is completely unfair, and I am enraged at a God who would toy with my feelings this way, and with the feelings of those I love. Dang you God! Dang you! Dang you! Dang you!

*

I feel sadness and grief that everyone and everything I love has to die. I feel about as much sadness and grief as I could feel-- and I've felt it for nearly 40 years! DANG YOU GOD! DANG YOU for making me feel this way!

*

*

...Ok. I took a deep breath and a little break. I'm not willing to stop blaming God-- YOU HEAR ME GOD!? I'M ANGRY WITH YOU! However, I am willing to notice that my thinking is a little skewed, and I'm a little unwilling to embrace reality(40 years worth of unwilling), and I'm playing the victim very nicely. And I'm willing to notice there's a great opportunity for me to have a breakthrough moment IF I'm willing to stop blaming God(forget that), and to get in touch with what is actually true, versus what I've been carrying around with me for almost 40 years. Its a big opportunity. I appreciate that, and I'm getting a little excited about the opportunity of it all, though I'm still plenty pissed at YOU KNOW WHO.

*

*

Christmas Vacation Travelogue

Monday morning, me, my son, and my niece dropped my nephew off at the New Orleans Airport, from whence my nephew traveled to Houston, and then to farmland south of San Antonio. All three kids are high school aged. On Tuesday, Baron shot a deer on Lisa's father's farm. Baron then had to wait most of the day to announce his kill to his grandfather, who was hunting on another part of the farm. Apparently, the waiting was the toughest part for Baron. He was alone, and he wanted someone with whom he could share the story and celebrate.

While still in New Orleans on Monday morning, Jake and Courtney and I strolled through the French Quarter. The French Quarter would be a nice place for a quick romantic getaway, IF you could find a time to go when things were relatively deserted and quieted down. On Monday, Dec. 27, the place was jammed with tourists freshly escaped from their local K-Marts, and with hustlers looking to deprive saps of their hard-earned dollars. Maybe I was in a fluky bad mood, but I was not charmed. The busking musicians would've been cut from Jake's High School Jazz Band, the artists hawking paintings were similarly untalented, the crafts belonged in a strip mall Dollar Store, and I doubt that the campy and voodooish fortune tellers could spin tales as well as your average six year old who has broken a window. There wasn't a hustler in Jackson Square who could've held onto a job at the Waxahachie Scarborough Faire. Bah. Humbug.

We made a return trip to the National D-Day Museum, at 945 Magazine St. in New Orleans. This is an excellent museum, well worth the somewhat steep entry fee, which is, I think, $15 for adults, $8 for students, Free for military in uniform. God bless those Allied soldiers who gave their lives and their healthy bodies.

On Monday night, Courtney had Jake meet some of her friends, and they went to see Ocean's Twelve, which they reported was good, though I have my doubts. On Tuesday, Courtney ferried Jake around to shopping malls until he tired of that. He spent the evening playing Madden 2004 with me; and dominoes and Moon with me and Lisa. Nancy and Bruce and Courtney went on a massive Wal-Mart run.

Wednesday, we hit the road for Texas, making a random gas stop on Hwy 190 after Baton Rouge, and before the Atchafalaya River Basin, Point Barre, and Opelousas. Before I had time to ruminate about the two Arab brothers running a gas station in the middle of Cajun country, I noticed a couple of nicely rounded, conscientious ladies running a tiny lunch buffet in the back of the store. It was obvious their food was good. They had worked up a light sweat laboring over the pots, and the Cajun-looking lady had some strands of long jet-black hair that had escaped their clip, and had damply plastered themselves down the side of her face. I bought some fried chicken, jambalaya, mustard greens, and fried chicken livers. While she filled my order, the Cajun lady told me of a friend who went to Texas and ate in a restaurant: "The food was good-- for Texas." We feasted as we drove the next 30 miles.

Madison to Ft. Worth; Recap of Big Ballgame

Madison to Ft. Worth was not as much fun. Hung around to see my niece and nephew off on their days, and still hadn't showered, and didn't get off until almost 9:00. Decided to drive through southwestern Wisconsin and eastern Iowa on 151, which is a trip I normally love. Within a mile of my brother's house, I took a wrong turn and got lost. Bad omen.

The trip included a 50 mile detour around construction and through several 25 mph towns; three long slow drives through construction; and an extended 5 mph creep for a traffic accident. I had pinched a muscle under my right shoulder blade, and could not get it comfortable. It hurt more and more as the day went on. By the end, the pain was killing me, yet I was still getting drowsy. I was singing, chewing gum, and sucking mints to stay awake, and finally got home at 3:00 AM. Thank God it ended. Ann Althouse, if you're reading this, forget the Corvette and buy a Lear Jet.

Did enjoy listening to Wisconsin Public Radio. The hosts and the callers were in a lot of post-election pain, and I don't blame them. If Bush had lost, I would be devastated and distraught. That said, both the hosts and the callers were, ummm... Uninformed? Out of touch with reality? Its hard to find the right description. There's what is, and there's the claptrap they were saying on the radio. The two are mutually exclusive.

Heard a spunky PBS radio babe reporting, I suspect, from a Baghdad hotel:

American forces will be conducting night operations in Fallujah, using night-vision goggles, which most of them have.

THEY'VE ALL GOT NIGHT VISION GOGGLES, YOU AIR-HEAD! And a bunch of heat imaging equipment the enemy can only dream of.

"Cuba City, Wisconsin. Home of Presidents."
25 MPHering through Cuba City, I spot a teacher leading a line of students. I pull over and jump out, keeping the car between me and her, so she won't be scared by the crazy man:

Me: Why is this the Home of Presidents?
She: That's just our theme.
Me: Have any Presidents ever lived here?
She: Well, President Bush came through last week!

Cuba City has red, white, and blue shields lining their main street, each listing the name and term of a President. In a choice between this actionable theme, and some forgettable theme, like: "Friendship, Service, Community," I'd choose "Home of Presidents." I'm down with Cuba City.

Welcome to Hazel Green, Wisconsin.

Iowa: Fields of Opportunity. Welcome! From the People of Iowa!
Warms the heart.

Tourist break: National Motorcycle Museum in Anamosa, Iowa. Worth $5 and a 45 minute diversion.

Kansas City has Riverboat Gambling! Wish it wasn't so late in the day. Downtown Kansas City is BIG! Didn't realize it was this big.

Emporia, Kansas has a National Teacher's Hall of Fame. Perfect. I've spent time in Emporia. They are proud to be an oasis of literacy surrounded by miles and miles of corn.

If you're me, driving through Oklahoma in the dark of night, you'll get all choked up over this song: "Have You Forgotten," by Darryl Worley. Sample lyrics:

Have you forgotten how it felt that day?
Too see your homeland under fire and her people blown away
Have you forgotten when those towers fell?
We had neighbors still inside going through a living hell
[...]
Have you forgotten all the people killed?
Yeah some went down like heroes in that Pennsylvania field
Have you forgotten about our Pentagon?
Yeah all those loved ones that we lost
And those left to carry on
Don't you tell me not to worry about Bin Laden
[...]
Have you forgotten?

The Southpark hipsters made fun of Darryl Worley for pandering with this song. I heard Darryl Worley interviewed just before I heard his song. I think he's a sincere guy, trying to inject a dose of emotion into a national conversation in which one side is desperately trying to tamp down all emotion. I don't think he is pandering. My neighbors were vaporized on 9/11, and its a valuable thing for us to look that reality in the face.

You want pandering? I submit Lee Greenwood's "I'm Proud to Be An American."


As promised:

Big Ballgame at Camp Randall!

The Wisconsin Badgers kicked butt: 38-14! Wiconsin is strong, and fundamentally solid. I would not want to play them.

This was a game for men. Everyone on the field was big, strong, and perfectly willing to sock you in the mouth. The Big 12 and SEC have more skinny speed guys. There were no skinny speed guys on the field for this game. Real men only.

We watched the end of the second quarter from the field level walkway behind the Minnesota bench. The noise! The noise! Its louder and more jarring at field level. Its the Roman Coliseum, the crowd wants blood, and these young men are giving it. Bruising, adrenaline, pain, glory-- see it all from behind the Minnesota bench!

The Wisconsin Band has a signature bow-legged knee-raising jump-step. They do a different routine every week. The crowd adores them.

The stands at Camp Randall angle sharply upward-- the way all stadium stands ought to. The crowd is well-focused and well-attuned to the unfolding game. They create walls of noise. Its a big home team advantage. The suites atop the East stands help to entrap and enhance the noise.

The East stands have wonderful quirky stairs and walkways and tunnels, and cramped ancient bathrooms. They have doors(!) swung open between the stands and the tunnels. The West stands' architecture is more generic. The West stands honor Wisconsin's Heisman Trophy winners: Ameche #35; Dayne #33.

Wisconsin does two things every school in America ought to do:

1) On three consecutive breaks near the beginning of the fourth quarter, they play three energetic favorites of the student section. Eight thousand students leap to their feet and begin waving their arms in the air, singing, and jumping up and down energetically.

When the students first leapt into action, I was standing near the student section at field level, and I involuntarily exclaimed "Oh my God!" Eight to ten thousand dancing, arm-waving students is an awesome sight. The students love it, the crowd loves to watch the student section dance, and it gets everybody fired up for the fourth quarter.

The first song is "Shout,"(lyrics below) by Otis Day and The Knights, made famous in the movie "Animal House." The second song was a rap type of song called "Jump and Shout." The students especially loved this song. Ann Althouse blogs that the third song was "Twist and Shout," which was once recorded by the Beatles, and was lip-synched by Ferris Bueller in the St. Patrick's Day parade.

2) The Fifth Quarter: Put 15 minutes on the clock. Bring the band onto the field to sing and dance. Bring cheerleaders and pom pom girls out to dance with the band. Bring some football players out of the locker room to dance with the band and the cheerleaders. Allow the band to play and dance with increasing independence and individualism as the Fifth Quarter goes on. By the end, let the field be like a big Mardi Gras.

The Fifth Quarter was completely charming and fun. Every school should do this. The band gets some glory. Everybody gets to celebrate and party. Thirty or Forty thousand fans(or more) stayed to watch this.

No Wisconsin game could've been more perfect: score, weather, fan happiness, everything. It was wonderful.


Shout
Written by The Isley Brothers
Made famous with version by Otis Day & The Knights in the movie "Animal House" from 1978

Weeellllllllll,You know you make me wanna shout
Kick my heels up & shout
Throw my hands up & shout
Throw my hands back & shout
Come on now, shout
Don't forget to say you will
Don't forget to say yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Say you will
Say it right now, baby (say you will)
Come on, come on (say you will)
Say it, eeeee (say you will)
Come on now (say)
Say that you love me (say)
Say that you need me (say)
Say that you want me (say)
You wanna please me (say)
Come on now (say)
Come on now (say)
Come on now (say)
I still remember
When you used to be 9 years old
Yeah yeah I was in love with you
From the bottom of my soul
Yeah now that you've grown up
& old enough to know yeah yaeeah
You wanna leave me
You wanna let me go
I want you to know
I said I want you to know right now
You've been good to me, baby
Better than I've been to myself
Hey hey, & if you ever leave me
I don't want nobody else
Hey hey, I said I want you to know
Yeah, I said I want you to know right now
You know you make me wanna shout
Yeah yeah (shout), yeah yeah yeah (shout)
All right (shout), all right (shout)
Come on now (shout), come on now (shout)
A little bit softer now
A little bit softer now
A little bit softer now
A little bit softer now
A little bit louder now
A little bit louder now
A little bit louder now
A little bit louder now
Heeeeyyyyy (Heeeeyyyyy)
Heeeeyyyyy (Heeeeyyyyy)
Heeeeyyyyy (Heeeeyyyyy)
Heeeeyyyyy (Heeeeyyyyy)
I'm gonna shout, now
I'm gonna shout, now
I'm gonna shout, now
I'm gonna shout shout shout
I'm gonna shout shout shout
I'm gonna shout shout shout
You know I love you...baby

Wisconsin vs. Minnesota: Pregame

First-- the big game in the front yard:

Most boys don't become competitive until age 10 or so. My 6 year old nephew is competitive now. He kept a close tab on the score of the game. Luckily, his team won. Less chance of tears that way. I am tired and grass-stained. Perfect. Wouldn’t have it any other way.

Off to the big game at Camp Randall Stadium:

Me and my brother and sister-in-law parked near a bike trail, and walked in for about a mile. We emerged near the corner of Regent and Breese, to a sensory overload of red clad fans, the smell of grilled brats and beer, plus that Autumn sunshiny smell, and the sight of Camp Randall off to our left, silhouetted against a clear blue sky. Also perfect. All of it.

To my knowledge, there's barely any parking close to Camp Randall. The stadium is bordered on the south by a classic gymnasium, now used by Wisconsin Wrestling and Volleyball. Soon beyond the gym is a few restaurants, and then residential housing. Across the street to the west is residential housing. To the north is a football practice field, with the UW campus spreading out just beyond. To the east is a bit of campus, and a neighborhood of restaurants and bars and shops, et al. The stadium is wedged into the middle of it all. On game day, the area all around the stadium is a sort of giant neighborhood/street party.

A bar is blasting music into the street: Head East, "Never Been Any Reason", circa 1978. I flashback to my freshman year at Baylor. Was in Austin at a campus party the night before the Texas-Baylor game. Was some beers into the night, away from home for the first time(for all of about 6 weeks), and was surrounded by women that-- Jesus Christ and Oh My God—they could not have been any more beautiful. They were dropped down from Heaven as God’s personal gift to man. And this great song with these driving lyrics was playing really loud. I was so happy to be away from home and at that party with that music and those girls-- I could’ve cried out in joy and gratitude.

Back to the sunshiny day. We moseyed up Breese and past the stadium, passing house parties filled with people-- except for one house party with poor turnout. We felt sorry for those guys.

Badger fans are unapologetically proud of their team and excited to root for them. I'm wearing red. I'm proud of the Badger team. I'm excited to be here. Yea! I've got about 80,000 new best friends.

We circle the north end of Camp Randall, and my mechanical-engineer sister-in-law begins describing a professional tour she took of the stadium with an engineering group:

She: Camp Randall has Field Turf, and the manufacturers had a dickens of a time matching the correct color red in the endzones. They applied various shades of red to the Field Turf, but it would not come out the correct Wisconsin color. The end zone red is still just a smidgen too dark.

The visiting locker room is very spartan. No need to lavish luxury on the enemy. There was controversy over the color of the visiting locker rooms. Red is an aggressive color. No need to help the visitors' aggression. Pink is a passive color, and they considered that. Pink apparently depresses testosterone levels for 2 hours after exposure. Wisconsin finally settled on baby blue, feeling that created a sufficiently pacifying environment for the visitors.

Me: Did you learn any engineering on that tour?

She: Really, we didn't. But we had fun!

We pass through the Camp Randall Arch and circle back towards Regent St. We pass the trombone section circling the stadium and playing "On Wisconsin." We turn into a mosh pit of hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of 35-40 year olds in the beer garden of "Big Ten Pub". Its 90 minutes before game time, and who knows how many identical mosh pits exist within 500 yards of where we are? 10? 20? More? I've been to some fabulous pregame scenes. I've been to Baton Rouge and College Station, and lots of other places. This is as amiable and fun of a scene as you could find anywhere. I'm having a fine time.

Two beers and two brats for me. My sister in law is balancing a beer and eating a brat and chattering along happily with a girl friend. They notice Penn St. on a TV, and they begin earnestly discussing when Joe Paterno will be forced to leave his coaching position. I suddenly love both of them intensely: beer-drinking, football-talking women. Their husbands are lucky men.

Kickoff approaches, so we fight our way out of the mosh pit. There are still hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of beer drinking, happy, smushed together people in the beer garden. I'm a two beer kind of person. These Madisonites are way tougher than I am. As we leave, a police officer surveys the mosh pit and pronounces:
"This is ridiculous."

My sister in law begins the mile long trek back to the car because I'm using her ticket! She hiked a mile in and a mile out just to make the scene and visit with her friends. It was worth it.

Next Post: Ballgame!

That Madison Vibe

Its Saturday morning, and this was just yelled through the house down to the basement:

"If you don't turn off TV now you don't get to watch TV later when its time for your animal shows."

On Friday, I went by the UW campus at the 2:00 class break. I get on a college campus at a class break about 3 or 4 times a decade. I love it. I love to watch the students. Youth has its own beauty. Love to observe the clothing and the latest looks. Its also inspiring. The UW students were carrying books. They walked with a sense of purpose. They looked like they just finished paying attention in class.

Miraculously found a parking place. Strolled through the Student Union. Parents in town for the football weekend. Video games. Students huddled over Lap Tops. There's a focused young man who's angry about corporations, et al. I can tell this just by watching him read his text book. He reads it angrily, with an anti-corporation attitude! The truth about this guy is that he's merely shy. He needs the affection of a good woman. The repeated affection of a good woman. She can bring him into a world of people who like to laugh and love and crack jokes, and not take themselves so seriously.

I walk past a girl bent over her lap top, with hip hugger jeans running low, and 1/3 of her buttocks exposed to me. She has intentionally accessorized her buttocks crack with hot pink thong underwear that says "Victoria's Secret" in big advertisement lettering. Just like Audrey Hepburn accessorized her neck with a choker, and Mae West accessorized her cleavage with a necklace, this girl is accessorizing her buttocks with thong underwear. I've got absolutely no problem with looking at 20 year old's buttocks' cheeks. If this is the next big thing, you won't see me protesting it.

I venture into the sunlight, and begin moseying through a quadrangle towards the library. Come face to approaching face with a professor rushing himself and his books through the quadrangle, towards an oh-so-professorly important meeting at the Student Union, or maybe at his office. His personal presentation, there's no other way to say it, is exactly like Lenin. Same beard. Same Russian-Lenin-coat. "Peasant coat," maybe its called. You had to see him to understand the full effect. If Che Guevara came back from the dead and ran for Governor, he'd get this guy's vote. Course, if Che came back from the dead, I'd vote for him too.

The professor and I face off as we approach each other-- like gunslingers in the Old West-- Lenin's cousin, and me: Homer Simpson in Nikes and a Dallas Stars sweatshirt. We each could not possibly have less respect for the other. As we pass shoulder to shoulder, we each have the identical thought: "Sheesh. What an asshole."

Fun stroll.

Picked up the kids at 4:00, went to the greatest neighborhood playground ever. Felt guilty, b/c I let the 3 year old run around, even though she developed a cough. Ah, well, we were having fun. And I'll be gone on Monday. Can leave the cough for my poor brother and sister-in-law to deal with.

Now its Saturday, and I'm listening to a 3 year old's song about ice cream scoops, and we're all gearing up to go outside and play. Big game today! But only after the big game in the front yard! Gotta go!

Ft. Worth, TX to Madison(Fitchburg), WI

Thursday: Departed 5:30 AM. Arrived 10:00 PM. Traveled 1030 miles in 990 minutes, breaking mythic "1000 minute" barrier. Woo hoo!

Gear: 2 turkey sandwiches, 2 Peanut Butter and Red Plum Jam sandwiches, carrots, Tootsie Pops(orange), Snickers, Dr. Pepper, water, ice chest, road atlas(w/route highlighted).

"Waggoner, OK: Home of Tommy Biffle, Bass Fishing Champion"

"Pryor, OK: A Town for All Seasons"

"Shop and Stay With Us in Lebanon, Missouri"

Hospitable, welcoming Lebanon!? Hard to get your mind around that.

Bible verse highway billboards in Missouri, interspersed amongst Adult Bookstores. In between the billboards and the Adult Bookstores, Missouri is beautiful.

Friday: Walked Niece(3) and Nephew(6) to his bus stop. When bus appears in the distance, all 10 kids at bus stop start yelling: "Bus! Bus! Bus!" When you're 6, the arrival of the bus is a gleeful occasion. And then they line up, on their own initiative, and before the bus has even arrived and stopped. Their line is neat, orderly, perfectly composed. They wait expectantly for the bus. We are trying to spread consensual democracy into a world in which our 6 year olds consensually organize better than their 36 year olds.

Walking home from bus stop:
Me: Are you going to learn to read when you go to "big kid school"?
Niece: No.
Me: What are you going to learn?
Niece: To play, and take naps, and eat snacks!
She's obviously visited a public high school.

Niece to her upscale daycare. Front door has one adornment: Photo of John Kerry, former Presidential Candidate. Kerry won 85% of the vote in the daycare's mock election. Course, this is the suburb of Fitchburg. A daycare in Madison might've produced a Hussein-like 100% of the vote for Kerry.

One daycare teacher has magenta-pink hair. I think that is perfect for the kids, as she looks like a cartoon character come to life. Other daycare teacher is a UW student from Boston. We reminisce about the Sox' big victory. She went to the Springsteen-Kerry concert. It sounds like it was a really fun event.

Home. Walk the family golden retriever to park. Its an impossibly beautiful and sunny day. Ft. Worth had its first crisp days before I left, but they were rainy. This is maybe 55 degrees, with a playful breeze blowing. Its the prettiest crisp day I've seen since March or April.

Check Madison newspaper. A pair of psychos held Madison residents hostage for days, murdered two of them, dumped their bodies in separate locations, then went to the police station and turned themselves in. If it wasn't so grisly and tragic it would be funny. Madison is easy to lampoon: "Get some real desperate criminals!" Except citizens are murdered and families are bereaved. Silent prayer for the families and loved ones of the dead. And the murderers. One of the victims looked like Mia Sara in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." Sad.

Zip around internet. Fallujah is heating up. Republicans homophobed their way to winning the election-- yawn. Peggy Noonan is back!! I LOVE that woman!

Write this post. In two minutes, I'm heading out the door and into this perfect day to shop for some long underwear for the game tomorrow. Its so pretty, I might stroll through the UW Campus and watch the students enjoying a sunny Friday afternoon. I might eat an ice cream cone. Life goes on. On a sunny November Friday in Madison, it doesn't get any better.

Post-Mortem: Where Did My "Electoral Landslide" Prediction Go Wrong?

From The End Zone:

"If the unreasonable happens, and Minnesota and Wisconsin both go to Kerry, Bush still wins: Kerry 251 v Bush 287."

The unreasonable happened: Kerry 252 v Bush 286. Bush still won by 34 Electoral Votes, which is more than a lot of experts predicted. Still, where did I go wrong?

Analyzing the math, Bush could've won the election by winning any one of these hotly contested states:

New Hampshire
Pennsylvania
Michigan
Wisconsin
Minnesota
Ohio

Since Bush did win one of these: Ohio, victory was his. Kerry won five of the six by very small margins. Amazing, and statistically fortunate- kind of like winning the daily double at the horse track. All five of Kerry's victory margins were equal to or smaller than Bush's victory margin in Ohio.

In retrospect, Kerry's only legitimate chance of victory was to sweep all six of these close states. I predicted Bush victories in all six states, reasoning that pollsters had underestimated the post 9-11 Republican turnout. I based that on the pollsters missing trends in the 2002 mid-term elections, and that is where my prediction went awry.

If Bush had swept all six states, my 352-186 prediction would've almost come true, as Bush would've won 348 electoral votes (Kerry won Hawaii's 4 EV's by a comfortable margin). I figured, if I was wrong, these states would follow pollster predictions and split about three and three for each candidate. Instead Kerry won five of the six. Again: Amazing.

So, the election was close, but not that close. Bush was equal or closer to winning any one of the other five contested states than Kerry was to winning Ohio. Overall, with the Republicans picking up seats in both the Senate and the House, and with Bush winning the popular vote by a significant margin of 3.5 million, this election was a very solid victory for Bush and the Republicans.

Talk of the nation being "divided" is starting to look a bit like bull**** carping by a minority party that is only now beginning to vaguely sense the reality of their circumstance. In the last forty years, only one Democrat President has won at least 50% of the popular vote:

Jimmy Carter. 1976. 50.5%.

Bill Clinton won two elections with about 45% of the popular vote. The nation is trending conservative. If it was not, Bush would've been bounced out of office yesterday. Conditions were ripe. Powerlineblog:

The country is divided, but the division is in favor of President Bush and his party. If the goal is to decrease division in the context of a democratic society, the Democrats will have to accept this voter-imposed reality to a much greater degree than they have shown any past willingness to do.

Its a shame, for the Democrats, that the election wasn't a big blowout. The close result will allow the Democrats to believe they need a simple bandage, when they really need surgery to remove the moonbats, followed by full courses of chemo and radiation.

Here are the numbers from the six states. If Bush had won any of the first five, including New Hampshire, he could've lost Ohio and still won the election:

• New Hampshire 1% margin; 9,000 vote margin
• Pennsylvania 3% margin; 122,000 vote margin
• Michigan 2% margin; 165,000 vote margin
• Wisconsin 1% margin; 12,000 vote margin
• Minnesota 2% margin; 98,000 vote margin
• Ohio 2% margin; 147,000 vote margin

What about Florida? Kerry could've won if he had won Florida. However, Florida was a small but solid Bush victory, and wasn't as close as the above six:

Florida 5%; 377,000 votes

I'm off to mow the lawn, pack, and drive to the heart of "Moonbats in mourning" country: Madison, Wisconsin (a town which can only be properly represented by Communist Red!). I shall visit my niece and nephew, and attend the big Wisconsin Badgers vs. Minnesota Gophers football game at Camp Randall Stadium, hoping that my seats are in the end zone. Go Badgers!

Good Quotes

Don Meredith:

Howard made my job so easy, because I knew if I just sat there long enough he was gonna to say some fool thing I could comment on. Howard didn't know a whole lot about football. But it didn't matter, because we were just up there to have a good time anyway. We tried not to let the game get in our way.

James Lileks

Vets v Kerry- Media's Waterloo
There are two tales here: the story, and how the story will be played in the dinosaur old media. [...] This is not about Vietnam. This is about character, and this is about spin. Over the next week there’s going to be a lot of discussion in newsrooms about what this story means, and how the mainstream media’s handling of the charges will affect their image. They can tear the story down to the foundation and root for the truth, or they can hide behind he-said-they-said reportage. It’s their Waterloo. We’ll see.

Update- (From Greg) So far, the media are largely playing this as "he said/they said." When detail is given, it is often blatantly incorrect. Its shocking to watch "legitimate" media report blatant falsehoods with cocky assurance. A local TV newscast(in Dallas) assuredly reported that the Swift Boat Vets were liars "because none of them served with John Kerry." This was broadcast in a news story on the "controversy," implication being that the reporter had researched the story. I have more examples, but you get the picture. With some exceptions, the coverage amounts to either blatant lies or "he said/they said."


Peggy Noonan

I do not think a lot of modern conservatives have taken on their philosophy because they were brought up in it, schooled in it, and swallowed it whole. And I don't think a lot of them became conservatives because they read a book by Hayek or Adam Smith and thought, "Ah ha, this seems sound!"

I think a lot of people in our time who have become conservatives did it because they had a certain and particular kind of mind. To choose just one facet, they have a natural respect and even sometimes love toward human beings, while at the same time having no illusions--none--about who we are. Man is not perfect and is not perfectible, at least by other men.
[...]
You start out there, and then you find yourself hearing something or reading something that you find out is "conservative." You pick up National Review... or you read C.S. Lewis or bump into the autobiography of ... Whittaker Chambers... and suddenly you think, "Oh my God, that's exactly what I think."


Alice Bacchini

Personally, I strongly believe that there is no point
[in making immoral decisions],
because bad things always come back to you anyway,
and nearly always pretty immediately.


Walter Williams

"It’s always been my contention that the conservative vision shows far greater respect for blacks than the liberal you-can’t-make-it-without-us vision."


Mark Steyn

There's a narcissism about the tone of this convention that cuts to the heart of the Democratic Party's difficulties: They don't believe in anything except their monopoly of goodness.


Zeyad of Healing Iraq

We smiled at one another. There was a cool breeze outside and life suddenly felt good. When you are vulnerable and have death waiting around the corner at any moment, it's only better that you try hard to make the most of what you have.

July Good Quotes

In honor of the impending end of blog vacation, I've rounded up some good stuff from other places (including some repeats)--

Alex Rodriguez- "F*** YOU! F*** YOU! F*** YOU!"
Jason Varitek- "F*** YOU! We don't throw at F***ing .275 hitters!"

jay nordlinger in NRO
"Before I left New York, I observed a crystallizing scene in Central Park: One female jogger encountered two others - whom she knew - and she said, "I'm going to see Fahrenheit 11" - that's what she said, "Fahrenheit 11" - "at 12:05," and the other two joggers squealed, "Ooh," and they all hugged. This is a funny moment in America, ladies and gentlemen."

From Allah:
It is a great affront to god that a woman so saucy should also be learned, but there is the problem with your women in a nutshell, America. Pro: They are looking good. Con: They attend school. You must accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.

Ted Kennedy
"...the only thing we have to fear is four more years of George Bush."

Really? Fade to photo of WTC Towers...

Victor Davis Hanson
Without historical perspective(about Iraq), thousands of pundits and politicians maneuver every 24-hours to "prove" that their shifting and contradictory positions, like millions of the American people's own rising and falling spirits, are in fact really consistent and principled. But mostly they are all just confused about Iraq and not sure whether we are emerging from a few skirmishes with a few weeks left to the armistice or firing away on Guadalcanal with three more years of mayhem to go."

Allah in the House
Osama and the mujahideen saw a website that claimed Jews are controlling the world with robots. The mujahideen were frightened, and declared jihad on robots: The intifada against Jew robots continues apace this morning, kufr. Three more Zionist vending machines and 11 ATMs have been liquidated by shahids in glorious martyrdom operations.

via Jay Nordlinger
'the author discusses the accusation that Schwarzenegger is anti-semantic . . .'

Tom Daschle
"[Americans] wonder how we can build new schools in Iraq, while so many American schools are crumbling?"

Really? Is it the mortar which is crumbling in American schools? Is it a money problem?

Iraqi blogger Firas Georges
"What may back up my criteria is what is going on in the ISX (Iraq Stock eXchange). Things there are more than good, its terrifying good. Nobody expected to close deals in one day with the same value of what he used to close in three months work, and investors are trying to find themselves a broker who isn’t so occupied with deals. "

-Roger L. Simon
Deep down (the Democrats) are saying the War on Terror was a bad thing because "we didn't do it."

Jamie Lee Curtis' exasperated speech to Kevin Kline's Otto, in A Fish Called Wanda:
"Aristotle was not Belgian. The central teaching of Buddhism is not 'Every man for himself.' The London Underground is not a political movement. These are mistakes, Otto. I looked them up."

David Frum II
"The Democrats are not well served by the media bias in their favor. [...] (they) suffer from the same problem as ultimately felled Saddam Hussein: They cannot trust their (media) servants to report the truth. "

Iraqi blogger Alaa-
You are indeed falling prey to the Media. [...] we, who are in the middle of it all, see a definite improvement in the overall security situation [...] In fact, we expected much worse. The enemy has no agenda, no clear political objective, he is just desperately striking left and right and committing more and more terrible atrocities that will only increase the hatred and repulsion against him; while the offensive against him by the patriotic Iraqis is gaining momentum. The majority are going to get stronger and stronger, and this is already observable in the new security formations. We are in the thick of it and don't feel discouraged at all.

This chart contrasts the number of stories on Joe Wilson before and after both the Senate Intelligence Report and the 9/11 Commission Report outed him as a liar.

Outlet..................Wilson Before....Wilson After
CBS................................30...................0
NBC...............................40...................1
ABC...............................18....................1
Washington Post............96...................2
New York Times............70...................3
Los Angeles Times.........48...................2


-Howard Kurtz via Virginia Postrel
"Bush told his senior aides Tuesday that he 'didn't want to see any stories' quoting unnamed administration officials in the media anymore, and that if he did, there would be consequences, said a senior administration official who asked that his name not be used."

Victor Davis Hanson-
Email Question: What would constitute "victory" for our enemy? Were you in their shoes, what would be your goal? How would you define victory and then remain victorious?
Hanson: An enemy victory in Iraq is something most likely to be a government of jihadists, whether Sunnis or Shiites, like Iran. An agenda of such a state?
>Get your hands on billions of petrodollars.
>Form a loose alliance with Iran and understandings with Syria.
>Undermine the Gulf States.
>Follow the Iranian/Libyan model of nuclear acquisition.
>Daily threaten Israel.
>Make the Europeans sell whatever you want, through a mixture of oil blackmail and loose talks about missiles, nukes, and launching ranges.

So, if they could turn Iraq into a Taliban-like badlands first, and a petrofueled theocracy second, then the rest would be easier. There are only two ways for Islamist governments now to threaten us: transform their country into terrorist havens (Afghanistan) or use petrol-dollars to buy nukes (Iran). Otherwise they are about as relevant as the Sudan or Somalia.

LaShawn Barber- the clear-thinking, the beloved-
"Dealing with race discrimination, perceived or otherwise, is secondary to individual accountability."

via Jay Nordlinger
Pine Bluff. Black History Month. Come to school as famous African-American. My co-worker's kid was told to come as Tina Turner. My co-worker informed the teacher that her child would come as Condoleezza Rice instead. The teacher refused to allow it, on grounds that Rice 'is for white people.'

Roger L. Simon
"I will admit that we optimists have been wrong about 98 percent of the time and that, on the surface, we are nitwits.(Hey, I like Kafka too.) But I submit that we are happier in our idiocy. "

Hussein Massawi, former leader of Hezbollah--
"We are not fighting so that you will offer us something. We are fighting to eliminate you."
Patton--
"Fixed fortifications are monuments to the stupidity of man."
"Remember the poet. Audace. Audace."
Frederick the Great--
"To defend everything is to defend nothing."

Mona Charen
"Is it really arrogance to believe that the system and the culture we've inherited is superior to others? Or is it ingratitude to deny it?"

Observations Loosely Related to Part I

1) We're at war. Any person who understands this has no quarrel with "with us or against us." Any person who doesn't understand this doesn't need to be governing our nation.

2) Bush is riding an excellent streak of political and diplomatic success. He is perfectly positioned to achieve a blowout electoral victory in November. Iraq is well-positioned to be a historic democratic success. The Palestinians are more and more disgusted with Arafat. During Bush's term, diplomatic progress has been made in critical areas such as Russia, Pakistan, Libya, and North Korea. Over 90 nations aided the effort in Iraq.

3) John Kerry is not "suave" in any way that gets any positive thing accomplished. John Kerry is "suave" in the self-aggrandizing fashion of an arrogant and dense snob.

Update
Actually, to this point Bush has performed like one of the great politicians and great American Presidents in history. From the gubernatorial defeat of popular Ann Richards, to the Presidential campaign, the tax cuts, the mid-term Congressional elections, the liberation of 50 million people, the capitulation of Ghaddaffi, the discovery and break-up of Khan's international nuclear black market, the diplomatic successes mentioned above, and the rebound of the economy and the job market from the recession he inherited, Bush is on a historic run of political success. Listening to the yelps of outrage, it's pretty funny to think this is what one of the great Presidencies in history looks like!