The virtuous one explains his cancellation of the Landstuhl visit

Summary:

Since the rules interpretation which barred my campaign aide from Landstuhl

would inevitably stir up the right wing attack machine's perception of political motivation,

therefore I feared my visit would DISTRACT from the excellent care being provided.

I did, after the ensuing manure storm had begun, make phone calls to wounded troops. My staff only leaked these calls to media b/c we are givers.

Damn the right wing attack machine.

Hail my virtue. Do it now.

Yea, Barack then placed hands on hips, puffed out his chest, threw back his shoulders, slightly elevated his chin, and gazed towards a faraway distance. Verily, photographers shot upwards, from angles beneath the virtuous and slightly elevated chin. The clouds parted, beams of sunshine rained upon the virtuous one's slightly elevated visage, a heavenly choir began singing, and the dove of virtue descended from the heavens and alighted upon the virtuous one's shoulder. All was right with the world, and all was right with the NYT headline and front page photograph for the following day.