Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Tebow! (and bootyful possible virgin Julianne Hough)


Julianne Hough should dump her potato farmer/country music singer boyfriend Chuck Wicks; then marry Tebow. For the good of our nation, Tim and Julianne should go forth and be fruitful.

Julianne has endometriosis, which sometimes results in infertility. Not to worry: if she marries Tebow, SEC medical schools will throw all resources at the problem. They will cure endometriosis/infertility before Tebow graduates from U of Florida.

Tim and Julianne's (hopefully numerous) babies' handprints will be affixed to collegiate athletic scholarships as soon as possible. Those SEC medical schools will pioneer in utero surgeries to get at those handprints before rival schools are able. Medical breakthroughs from the pioneering in utero techniques will result in abortion being outlawed. Everybody wins: God, SEC football, unborn babies, Filipinos, endometriosis sufferers, soon-to-be-saved convicts, Church of LDS, NFL fans, DWTS, Mitt Romney, and bloggers who appreciate bootyful dancing.

Slight diversion: I'm struck by the photos. Julianne's is professionally done and is designed to further her careers in dance and in country music. She selected just the right jeans, just the right top, and has her hair and make-up and lighting done perfectly - as she should have. All good. Then there is Tebow's candid photo: just a lovable goof in a big red shirt. The photos sort of represent the two genders. Women wake up every day and fastidiously apply makeup and create their beauty - which is a wonderful thing. Even their girl next door looks are put together with some care. Men, if they can get away with it, roll out of bed and don't even shower before waltzing out the door. And the two genders have been this way for ages. Long may they continue to be so.

Postscript: Tebow must - for the good of mankind - kick
this alleged girlfriend to the curb. A shame. She looks like a sweet girl. Tough call. Still, there is all mankind to consider. Tim is so wonderful, surely he will suffer on with Julianne, in the spirit of Jesus bearing the cross.


Julianne Fan said...

This is a pretty funny post. I don't want to see Julianne marry Tebow but you made it fun to read about.

gcotharn said...

Thank you! Your comment is very sweet.