Tuesday, July 06, 2010

I noticed a woman at the dog park

She finished an intense conversation on her cell phone, and she seemed shaken. I asked, "Are you okay?" She said, "I'm okay. It's just ... when you've been married for 25 years ... it's so hard to fight."

Maria McKee, at the apex of her beauty and skill:

Back to the dog park:

I said, "Not to minimize, at all, what you are going through, but: if your relationship was always easy, you wouldn't like it. Nobody would. The difficult part is what makes it interesting, and worthwhile."

Presumptuous. A cardinal sin in this situation is to say anything which seems anything at all like trying to solve the other person's problem. Another cardinal sin is to say anything which could have come off of a bumper sticker. So sue me. She did seem to appreciate the sentiment, and therefore I have hopes she truly did appreciate it.

After, I realized at least one person did need to hear the bumper sticker slogan: me. I needed to hear that the hard part is what makes it great. It's an obvious thing, yet I had forgotten it. Life is funny: the lady aided me.

"Everything has already been said, and well said; but one must always recall it anew." .... -Frithjof Schuon


Anonymous said...

But you wouldn't want the difficulties to be the biggest part either.
Wish you that difficulties, whatever they are, will be passing quickly.

My experience is opposite to that woman's. After a decade of marriage you can predict pretty well how the row starts, progresses and where it goes. You almost don't need the other's actual participation. He knows your buttons, you know his. There is nothing to be shaken about.

I think the lady was a Southern lady, Greg: politely let you feel appreciated.

gcotharn said...

Maybe the lady was being polite. I'm guessing she appreciated the sentiment, but it's only a guess. Either way, she helped me progress forward in my bumper sticker life.