I'm pretty sure Jesus doesn't care what you do with semen

This blogpost deserves a place inside the conversation about which The Bloggess post is the funniest: http://thebloggess.com/?p=1603

As always, profanity warning, along with every type of bad taste warning imaginable.

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Completely adorable twitpic of moving day.



Sample @TheBloggess tweets, from after she moves into a new house. Work from top to bottom:



We've been here 1 day and we've found 2 scorpions in our house. Stung once already. Stop being such an asshole, Texas Hill Country.
2:34 PM Jul 5th via web

No, I can't buy a chicken to curb the scorpion infestation problem because we also have a fox infestation problem.
2:47 PM Jul 5th via web

Ooh. Unless we had a TON of chickens so there were too many for the foxes to handle.
2:49 PM Jul 5th via web

Okay, text ads for sale for $75 *OR* a truckload of fast chickens.
2:50 PM Jul 5th via web

No, y'all. I can't get a lion to eat the foxes that eat the chickens that eat the scorpions. Because we have deed restrictions.
3:07 PM Jul 5th via web

The exterminator is here to murder all the scorpions. He did *not* bring a lion. I'm starting to question his expertise.
about 13 hours ago via web

@#$%!^&! The exterminator just accidentally let in a wasp. This whole thing seems counterintuitive.
about 12 hours ago via web

At the closest restaurant to our new house. They specialize in live bait, uhauls, and computer repair. And tacos. http://twitpic.com/231a2o
about 8 hours ago via Echofon

Holy shit. Some guy just walked in and yelled "Frank! I need some goddam worms!" at our waiter. He paid by check.
about 8 hours ago via Echofon

He paid by check. For worms. Also, our waiter's name is not even close to being "Frank". Oh Texas Hill Country, Never change.
about 8 hours ago via Echofon

Okay, I just had the best Mexican food in my life. Well-played, "Frank's bait & taco".
about 8 hours ago via Echofon