Friday, January 25, 2008

Book of Dangerously Fun Words

Below is a book I wrote for my kindergarten aged niece. I sent one copy to her, and kept one copy for a future gift.

Here's what happened the first time I wrote a book and made three copies (for my then 7 year old nephew - I accidentally made it too advanced for him at that age):
And that's how I turned a good and good hearted idea for a 5 hour project into 16+ hours of labor, $10+ of expended printer ink, and $35 of vanity spending at Office Max.
This time, I spent 8 hours on the project, plus (wild guessing) maybe $2 of printer ink, plus $8 to bind two copies at Office Max, for a total expenditure of $10 (not including postage).

Could a book be done faster than 8 hours? To do so, first you should abandon rhyme, rhythm, and meter. Still, you couldn't do it a lot faster. It takes some time to Google age appropriate and subject appropriate pics, then arrange them on pages, then print, then run to Office Max for binding. So, 6-8 hours is about the minimum time it takes (using rudimentary software, at least) from conception to completion.

Tip: next time, I will purchase a higher grade of printer paper. You can see through these pages - to whatever is underneath.

Book of Dangerously Fun Words

Page 1

Dogs are very dangerous

because they are so huggy.

If you hug and hug

on a dog named Doug

you might become hugzuggy.

Page 2

Hugzuggy is very dangerous

because it is contagious.

Your Mom gets it

your Dad gets it

they begin to act outrageous!

Page 3

Outrageous is very dangerous
because it is outlandish.

You might go to the zoo

and shout "Yoo hoo!

Everyone, I'm feeling pandish."

Page 4

Pandish is very dangerous

because it is a condition.

You feel black and white

all the day and night

and you eat leaves without dimunition.

Page 5

Dimunition is very dangerous

if it somehow involves shrinkage:

your legs become small,

you're opposite of tall,

what to do?! Take a moment for thinkage!

Page 6

Thinkage is very dangerous

because it results in ideas,

such as cooking a meal

for a trained baby seal

whose favorite food is green pea-uhs.

Page 7

Green pea-uhs are very dangerous

because they are tasty and sweet,

you will rub on your tummy

and say "These are yummy!"

Now, whatever else shall I eat?

Page 8

Page 9

Eating is very dangerous

because it requires much chewing:

you chew and you chew,

it could happen to you,

you could chew like a cow then start mooing.

Page 10

Mooing is very dangerous

because it resonates deeply:

if you happen to say

lots of moo ooos today

the cows may become deeply sleepy.

Page 11

A deeply sleepy cow is very dangerous

because she may soon begin snoring,

she may close her cow eyes

and cow snore to the skies

dreaming of a chance to go soaring.

The End.

Walking to the bus stop - first day of school, 2007.

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